


How to Catch/Train Demons: How to Catch Your First Demon

by Athree_V



Series: How to Catch/Train your Demons [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Feelings, Friendship, Help, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I don't know what I'm doing, I dont know how to tag, I think I'm funny, Love, Multi, Not Really Character Death, Other, Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me, Please Kill Me, Plz think I'm funny, Self-Indulgent, Sorry Not Sorry, Spoilers, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, smut at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24190240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Athree_V/pseuds/Athree_V
Summary: The Seven Deadly sins think they know it all, having lived so long, they probably do, but they have never had an opinionated lady living with them. With literature, anime and meme references scattered throughout this long, cute and annoying text; will this thick-headed lady survive her year in the Devildom? Or will she manage to train the sins? Only one way to find out.
Relationships: Asmodeus (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Beelzebub (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Male Character(s), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Leviathan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Character(s), Lucifer/Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s), Satan (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: How to Catch/Train your Demons [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745887
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. Welcome to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> The main reason I wrote this is because I needed to tell off Lucifer ( I not so secretly love him though). I also thought it would be fun to make a character, not based on me, but with a similar cultural background, to give the boys culture shock.  
> I had a lot of support. Thanks to this amazing supportive fandom.I hope you have fun and think I am as funny as I think I am. 
> 
> Its all for lols and funs.
> 
> Each part will have 5 chapter for symmetry. Yeah, I have OCD too. 
> 
> This is not original, all the characters belong to Solmare, except my MC, Valentina (Vee).  
> I swear I have read this like ten times before posting, please tell me if there are any mistakes ;-;

Part 1: How to Catch your FIRST Demon.   
Chapter 1: Welcome to Hell  
I blinked my eyes, sitting up and I was not on my bed or my house for that matter. It looked like a big courtroom and multiple men looking at me.   
There was a dark skinned man with a red outfit who spoke as soon as he noticed my eyes open. “Welcome to the Devildom, Valentina… Oh, pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?” His look shifted to a little disappointment.   
I nodded and he continued, “well that’s understandable, you’ve only just arrived, after all. As a human, it will probably take a little while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom.”  
“So, I’m dead.” Was my initial thought, but if I were to get any understanding of the situation, I had to figure out where I was. “The Devildom…?” I asked, prompting for further explanation.   
“Yes, exactly, the Devildom, I see you catch on quickly. Excellent.” The man replied happily.   
“Oh, for crying out loud. I want information, not repetition.” I exclaimed.   
“I suppose I should start by introducing myself.” He continued.  
‘duh.’  
“My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me” that came off a bit self-centered “and someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom. This is the Royal Academy of Diablo…though we just call it RAD”   
Definitely self-centered, but people name things after themselves all the time. I pictured the meme of the guy with the butterfly saying ‘is this a DereDere’.   
“You’re standing inside the assembly hall, the very heart of RAD. This is where we officer of the student council hold our meetings and conduct our business. I am the president of said council.” Diavolo continued.  
Why does the lord of demons need a school that he also runs? Politics in the underworld must be interesting. Pushing aside my mental rambling and ask why do I need to know all of this? “Why am I here?”   
The man sitting right below Diavolo spoke. “I will explain everything to you.”  
“and you are?” I asked   
My question was answered by the very friendly Diavolo. “Valentina, this is Lucifer. He is a demon and the Avatar of Pride. He’s also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man.. and not just in tittle, I assure you.”   
So, this code for demon yaoi, got it.  
“Beyond that, he’s also my most trusted friend.” Diavolo continued smiling sweetly.   
So, they are banging, got it.  
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Diavolo.” Lucifer replied frowning.   
Aaaand found the kuudere in the room.  
Lucifer shifted his attention to me. “Speaking on behalf of the entire student body at this great storied school of ours, I offer you a most heartfelt welcome.”  
As interesting as the DereDere demon and the Kuudere demon were, I still had not gotten my answer.  
“Answer my question.” I replied  
“… interesting. This one is quite different from Solomon.” He made a face that had me assuming that he was intrigued and continued. “Diavolo believes that we demons should start strengthening our relationship with both the human world and the Celestial Realm. As a first step towards this goal, we’ve decided to institute and exchange program. We’ve sent two of our students to the human world and two to the Celestial Realm. And we’re welcoming four students to out school, two from your world and two from the Celestial World. So, I take it you’ve probably put two and two together at this point, right?”  
“I am not dead exchange student, got it.” I mumbled  
“You’ve been chosen among the people of the human realm to participate in this program of ours. You are our newest exchange student. Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you will receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom.”  
Seemed simple enough. Depending on what the tasks were… “tasks?” I asked.  
“You are here as an exchange student. Did you really expect to spend your time here fooling around?” Lucifer said with a frown.  
I glared at him. “That is not what I meant…”  
“Don’t glare at me like that. It’s not like I will abandon you all by yourself here in the devildom. You need someone to look after you, and I think that someone should be my brother Mammon.. He’s the Avatar of Greed and… how should I put it…? Oh well, you’ll understand soon enough.”   
These Demons think I am an uneducated idiot or what?  
Lucifer signaled me to come closer. I did not know why, but I was not afraid. Yes, there were multiple myths and legends about the man, and I believed none of them. Humans always exaggerate things, specially that which they did not understand. I will give him the benefit of the doubt.   
He handed me something that looked like a cellphone. “Here take this device. It’s called a D.D.D. It’s a lot like the cellphones of your world. This will be yours as long as you’re here.” I took the device. “Now, go ahead and try calling Mammon, with it”  
I swiped on what I assumed was the touch screen and lucky for me there was an icon for ‘contacts’. I imagined that if I was to call Mammon, the contact should have been there. The contact even had a picture, Lucifer was efficient. I tapped it and the call went out.’  
“Yoooo.” Mammon answer.  
“Hi.” I said maybe a little too exited.   
“Huh? Who the hell are ya? You ain’t Lucifer.” Mammon exclaimed.   
“I’m a human.” I replied as polite as I could.   
“Whaaa? A human? Geez, I was getting’ all chilly here think’ it was Lucifer again. Ya should’ve told me right away.”   
Understandable, Lucifer came off as cold.  
“So, what business does a human got with The Mammon?” he asked.  
“You will be in charge of me from now on.” I informed him.   
“No way! There’s nothin’ in it for me.” Mammon said what sounded like a complaint.  
Well, this was going nowhere.   
“Whaddya even mean by “be in charge of you”? AAH! I get it now, you’re the other human- the new exchange student! G’luck with that, and see ya.”  
I sighed exasperated. “Lucifer called for you.” I continued.   
“Pfft, whatever. Ya think THE Mammon would listen to ya just cause you’re tryin’ to scare me with that name?”  
I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head with another exasperated sigh.   
Lucifer took the D.D.D. from me and put it on speaker. “You’ve got 10 seconds….9…8…”Lucifer started counting and he sounded very intimidating.  
“YESSIR!”I heard Mammon exclaim and the call ended.   
Lucifer handed me the D.D.D. back and I cautiously took it, making sure not to grace his gloved hand. The touch might freeze me. Whoever came up with the idea that Hell was hot? Yeah the men could set it on fire with their looks, but damn, did Lucifer feel cold.   
“Sounds like you had a nice chat.” Lucifer said with a smile.   
I just stared incredulously at him. “He seems reliable.” I said sarcastically.  
“… you really think so?” Lucifer asked clearly upset at my comment.  
Note to self, demons do not do sarcasm and they do not understand if you don’t say things literally. At least with Lucifer.  
“Well, if you were suddenly brought to a strange place and then get told that and unfamiliar face will now take care of you, you’d certainly feel anxious.” Diavolo told Lucifer and then turned to me, “ Mammon isn’t the only one to help you out. Now then… we still need to introduce our new friend to you brothers, Lucifer. And it’s probably better that you do that instead of me, wouldn’t you say?”  
Lucifer’s face fell, “Yes… As much as I dread the idea of doing so, you’re right.”  
I assumed he must mean the other men in the room. I had to admit every man in this room was quite attractive in their own right. It would be understandable that anyone else in my place might had been drooling. However, looks never meant that much to me anyways.   
“Oh, come now. Really? You should be honored to introduce such a sweet and charming little brother like me!” Exclaimed the male with a pink bow.  
Oujidere, checked.   
“This one here is Asmodeus. He’s the fifth eldest. He is the avatar of lust.” Lucifer said sternly.  
Rude…  
“Wh… I can’t believe you just totally ignored what I said! And not only that, you referred to me as this one. How rude!” Asmodeus seemed kind of upset.  
“Hmp. At least he didn’t ignore you altogether. How do you think I feel?” said the blond one, I was not sure if that was real disappointment or not.  
“That one there is Satan, the fourth eldest of us. At first glance, he may seem like a responsible demon with a good head on his shoulders, but looks can be deceiving.” Lucifer explained.  
Tell me about it.  
“Aha, so I’m that one, am I?” Satan asked putting a hand to his chin. “ I am Satan, the Avatar of Wrath.” He introduced himself with a smile.  
That one caught me off guard, he did not look like wrath at all. “Avatar of Wrath?”  
“It basically sums up what he’s about. He may flash you a pretty smile like that, but you had better be careful because it is all an act.” Lucifer replied like it wasn’t that important.   
“If you continue saying such nonsense, you’ll just scare Valentina.” Satan replied sweetly. But to me it came of as fake.  
Dorodere, check.  
The Satan started emitting a very ominous aura. “Don’t take him too seriously, Valentina. Lucifer enjoys speaking ill of his brothers. He is the Avatar of Pride, after all.” That fake smile gave me chills.   
“and Lust” I gestured at Asmodeus. I knew about the seven deadly sins. Asmodeus seemed like a perfect incarnation of lust. He had an attractive yet … androgynous? Beauty.   
“It pretty much sums up what I’m all about” Chimed Asmodeus.   
“I was not asking…” I mumbled.   
“Let’s give a little demonstration! Valentina, could you gaze into my eyes for a moment?”  
I eyed him cautiously.   
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. Come on, don’t be shy.” Asmodeus smiled.   
I looked into his eyes.  
“Yes, Great! That’s perfect!” he exclaimed. “Now keep your eyes fixed on mine. Just like that…” he stared at me and I was expecting… something, yet nothing happened. “ …Wait a minute. There’s something about you….hmmm…” Asmodeus then looked stunned.  
“I should probably warn you, Valentina: you’d best be wary of Asmodeus’s gaze. He can charm and manipulate people and use them to his own advantage. If you’re not careful, he’ll charm you. And once you’re under his spell he’ll eat you.” Satan explained. Somehow, I did not believe the last part.   
“Hey, don’t go around saying things like that…” Asmodeus sounded upset. Then turned his attention back to me. “Hmm… regardless, my power doesn’t seem to work this time for some reason. I wonder why.” Asmodeus tone changed to disappointed.   
Lucifer sighed and frowned. “Are you done?” no reply, “Now, the one with the very grumpy look on his face is Beelzebub. He is the sixth oldest.” Lucifer continued.   
“Lucifer, I’m hungry.” Beelzebub replied with a grumpy frown.  
Huh, this one I couldn’t sort.  
“That’s too bad. Now behave yourself.” Lucifer said sternly.  
Beelzebub face fell and his face tugged at my heart strings.   
“I’m Beelzebub, the Avatar of Gluttony.” He sounded sad.  
Mammon was greed, so I was yet to meet Envy and Sloth. Now I was curious.   
“So…There are seven of us brothers in all, and I am the eldest. Mammon, the second oldest of us, will be here soon. My other brothers aren’t here at the moment, but.. well, we can get to them later. All in good time.” Lucifer replied with a side glance.   
“During your stay in the Devildom, the seven brothers will lend you their strength. To keep you safe, you are to stay with them at the House of Lamentation.” Diavolo spoke and he seemed so happy.  
This is the happy one. With any luck, I could have a demon version of the seven dwarves going here.   
I had to admit, Diavolo’s smile was contagious.   
“Most Agree with Diavolo, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t vulgar demons out there who wouldn’t harm you. If anything were to happen to you, it would be our responsibility. And I won’t betray Diavolo’s expectations. So, I will do everything in my power to make sure you survive your stay down here in the Devildom. Although we will all be living together, you should still have the means to reach us at any given time. All of our phone numbers are already in there and your D.D.D. also has a messaging app. Make sure to add all of us.”  
Wow, Lucifer loves to hear himself talk, doesn’t he? Avatar of Pride.  
“I’ll go ahead and send you a message!” Diavolo exclaimed.   
“Isn’t that nice, Valentina. Now you will be friends with the future king of Devildom” Shimmed in Satan.  
Mental note to be worry of that smile. Satan’s smile seemed dangerous.   
Diavolo pulled out what I assumed was an D.D.D. with a red cover. Wonder what’s his favorite color.  
Diavolo tapped at the screen and my D.D.D. chimed.   
The messaging app had messaged from Diavolo telling me to message him anytime and demon emojis.  
“They are so cute!” I exclaimed. Now I kind of wanted a plushi of the emoji.  
The men stared.   
“The emojis.” I explained.  
Diavolo seemed genuinely pleased at my comment.   
“Well, you’ve got that done now, and it seems the idiot has arrived as well.” Lucifer said disappointed. As if he was disappointed that someone, the ‘idiot’ had arrived.   
The doors burst opened loudly.  
A man with tanned skin and white hair walked in in a flurry “HEY! Just Who do you think you are, human? You’ve got a lotta nerve summoning the Great Mammon!” he walked towards me “Listen up, because I’m only gonna say this once. If you value your life, then you’ll hand over all of your money now! And anything else of value, too!” Mammon snapped. I looked down, then around me and there were none of my belongings. I smiled and shrugged, putting my hands in front of me to show him I had noting to give. I almost laughed. Regardless of my gestured, he continued talking, “Otherwise I’ll wipe that stupid, happy-go-lucky look right off of your face… by eatin’you! Startin’ at your head and working my way down, until --”   
Lucifer had come down from his spot and was walking towards Mammon. “Mammon, shut up or I’ll punch you!” then Lucifer came over and punched him regardless.   
I stiffed a chuckle.   
“GAH!, OWW! Hey, what’s the big idea?! I thought you were actually gonna give me a chance to shut up before punching me!” Mammon snapped.  
“Valentina, Mammon here is the Avatar of Greed. He governs and oversees all forms of it. Whenever he takes a liking to someone, they suddenly find themselves awash in money. But from what I hear, if he decides to break it off with someone, that wealth evaporates, They’re left without a Grimm to their name.” Satan explained.  
I already knew who Mammon was, since I had read about it, but that extra bit of information, I did not know about. You learn something new every day.   
“and he’s also a masochist. That part’s important” Asmodeus shimmed in.   
I stifled a chuckle again.   
“Indeed. And it just happens I have a job for my masochist of a brother.” Lucifer said sternly.  
“Y’all, stop telling lies! I ain’t asked for that punch, and I AIN’T a masochist!” Mammon exclaimed.   
“Mammon, you are going to be in charge of seeing to this human’s needs during the whole exchange. I expect your full cooperation.” Lucifer explained to his brother.   
I was starting to feel like ‘human’ was a derogatory term.  
“What?! Why me?!”  
“Aww, lucky you, Mammon! I’m so jealous…” said Asmodeus with a frown.   
“All right, then why don’t YOU do it, Asmodeus?!” Mammon exclaimed.  
“What? Hell no, too lazy.” Asmodeus replied.   
“I thought you said you were jealous of me?!”Mammon continued to fuss.   
“Just give up, Mammon. There’s no getting out of this. You know you can’t refuse a direct command from Lucifer, correct?” Satan said with a smile.   
“Does he ever shut up?” I asked rubbing my temple.   
Satan gave me a grimace, “No.”  
“But why does it have to be me?! What about Beel. Why can’t he do it?!”   
“This isn’t a job we can entrust to Beel. We might as well ask him to eat this human.” Asmodeus explained.  
I wonder if this is how cows feel and I was convinced ‘human’ was a derogatory term.   
“Mm, yeah. I can’t promise I wouldn’t.” Beelzebub replied.   
“You’re useless, you know that?!”Snapped Mammon.  
Rude, everyone is rude in this family.  
“…Mammon?” Lucifer said slowly.  
“…Wh-What?” Mammon stuttered.  
Lucifer started emitting an aura “Surely you’re not going to tell me that you object to this arrangement, aren’t you?”  
Mammon looked king of scared. “Ugh… I hate you guys! Every last one of ya! Fine… FINE I’ll do it, okay?!”  
Mammon turned to me, “All right, human, listen up. As much as I don’t want to look after you, I’ve got no choice. It’s a huge pain in the ass, and I’m too important for this kind of thing, but Lucifer told me to do it, so I will. But in return, you better make sure you don’t cause me any trouble, got it?!”  
Nope, I knew when I was not wanted, I took the hint. “Uh-uh, yup this demon doesn’t seem too helpful. And THIS HUMAN Isn’t willing to deal with him. ”  
“Are you dead, human or are you that much of an idiot? Here in the Devildom, Lord Diavolo’s word is law and so is Lucifer’s. and don’t you forget it.” Mammon continued.   
I get that, but clearly ‘humans’ were not liked.  
“We have decided who will take care of you, so on to the next subject: your tasks.” Lucifer continued to explain.   
“Will I get tests?” I asked.   
“Good question. Your task is to polish up your soul nicely and t acquire the power to resist demons.” He continued.  
“My soul?” I inquired.  
“Demons like humans with nice souls. Let ,e put it another way. Nice soul look like shiny jewels. Do you understand now? Demons will use their wisdom and abilities to temp the humans so they can get their hands on their souls.”  
I really felt that these demons thought I was daft. But that confirms some things, I was not too sure that much was true.   
“Oooh, how does my soul look now? Can you guys like see that?” I asked excitedly.   
Mammon looked at me as if I was insane.   
Diavolo chuckled.   
“I see a diamond” Exclaimed Asmodeus. “But, not too shimmery, what ARE you wearing?”  
“I didn’t exactly receive a warning to dress properly.” I replied. Yes, I had somehow applied for this, but I never heard back, and I had no idea it was in Hell. I legit just wanted a new experience away from home and this was fine. More than fine.   
Lucifer cleared his throat, “Moving on…Other demons at RAD also have tasks assigned to them just like you. In other words, either humans will be tempted by demons, or demons will lose against the shiny and noble soul of a human and make a run for it. You could say it is an experiment to find out who will win.” Lucifer smiled at the last part.   
I nodded. Now that I could definitely do.   
“What happens if I win?” I asked with a smile  
“Let’s see.. I will prepare some rewards to make sure you give it you all.” He replied with a smile. I assumed I was amusing.  
“and if I lose?” I asked.  
“There is no penalty set. Would you like me to think of one?” He said with a smile that I could only describe as sadistic.   
I glared.   
“There, there don’t give me that look. Don’t take it so seriously. You won’t have to do those tasks on your own. After all, you don’t have any magic, unlike the other exchange student from the human world… so my brothers and I will lend out powers to you and you alone. There is a list of tasks on your D.D.D..” Lucifer continued.   
I was not sure that all the brothers would be inclined in assisting me.   
I assumed that I had to check my D.D.D.. So, I swiped and looked at the tab that said tasks and there was a very long lists of tasks. I read through them. At least I had a year to get through everything.   
“With that, my explanation has come to a close.” He finished.   
“Finally.” I mumbled  
“But to sum it up for you..” I grimaced, grunted and rolled my eyes, Lucifer loved to hear himself talk. “You will be an exchange student here at RAD for one year and you must do your tasks…” he continued talking.   
I was not that much concerned with the massive task list, I was mostly concerned with how interesting this was. If everything said was true, I could do this and it was an opportunity like no other. I would be away from home with attractive men and I get to learn more about what of everything I read is true or not.   
Oops, he is still talking. Then returned my attention to the Avatar of Pride.   
“And when your exchange period comes to an end, you are to submit a paper about your stay here in the Devildom. It’s as easy as pie, don’t you think?” Lucifer finally stopped talking.   
“Seems too easy. What’s the catch?” I asked.  
Lucifer looked at me confused.   
Diavolo laughed, “There is no catch, you will remain here for a year, study, fulfill tasks and a paper. What is important is that you survive the year.”  
I sighed and rubbed my temple, “You guys think I’m stupid. I have heard everything the first time. I don’t need things to be said twice nor three times.”  
“Interesting.” Mumbled Lucifer.   
“I wanna make one thing clear right now: Don’t blame me if someone gets eaten, cause it ain’t my fault.” Mammon snapped, again.   
I sighed.   
“Lucifer, I’m hungry” Beelzebub said again. I felt so bad for him.   
“That’s too bad. Now behave yourself.” Lucifer said sternly.   
I wanted to feed Beelzebub so badly, he looked so sad.   
“Let’s make it a year to remember!” I exclaimed.   
“You… sure are a positive one. “Mammon shrugged and looked at me like I was a lost cause. “Welp, I won’t stop ya from havin’ some fun.”   
“Valentina, from now on you will be living in the House of Lamentation. You’ll be staying there with Lucifer and his six younger brothers. Humans, angels, demons, I imagine a universe where each accepts the other. Where we are brought together as friends. This is my dream, and I’m asking you to be the foundation for it. On year, that’s what I ask of you. Good luck, Valentina.” Diavolo said smiling.   
He sounded so hopeful and his contagious smile made me smile and it really made me want to be part of his dream.   
“Well, it has been a shock, but I will do my best” I replied with a smile.   
“Very well, you can go, Mammon, do your task” Lucifer interrupted and waved us off.   
Mammon sighed, graved me by the arm and dragged me out, he stopped into this pretty dark looking mansion.


	2. Interacting with an Otaku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this edition, Valentina meets the Avatar of Envy. She is in for a long rant.

Chapter 2 : Interacting with an Otaku  
“Ugh, I don’t believe this. Of all the rotten luck…. Why do I have to look after some human? It’s insulting, that’s what it is. That rotten bastard…Does he really think he can scare me int doin’ whatever he wants? Just so we’re clear…it’s not like I can’t say no to Lucifer, Okay?! I only agreed to babysit you because, um… Well you know, because… uh...”  
I rolled my eyes.  
Tsundere checked.  
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter! Just don’t go thinking that I’m scared of Lucifer or anything Because I’m not!”   
“Honestly, I really don’t care” I replied exasperated.   
“WHAT?! Oh, ow, you’re REALLY in for it…!”Mammon seemed upset then hesitated. “… Although, come to think of it, I’m surprised you’ve got the guts to talk to me like that. You’re not scared? I mean, I’m a demon. You do get that, right?”  
I shrugged. “Nah. I don’t have fears like that. I won’t stay quiet because someone is stronger or in a higher position.”  
“Hmph, you’re one strange human, I’ll give ya that.” Mammon said  
“Thank you. I plan on becoming the strangest human you have ever met” I replied with a sweet smile.   
“Ugh, whatever, Let’s move on!” Mammon snapped and walked to the house.   
Inside it was so pretty, I loved the wallpaper, it was a shade of blue and there were staircases at each side and statues by them. It was so pretty and my aesthetic.   
“This is the House of Lamentation. It’s one of the dorms here at RAD. Well, it’s not JUST one of the dorms. It’s the dorm reserved for student council members. Lucifer, Asmo, and the others take every change they can get to insult me. Callin’ me scum, saying that I’m a money-grubber and stuff but I’m an office on the student council, same as them. The elite of the elite, the top of the RAD social pyramid. In other words, I’m a big shot. A REAL big shot. Like, even regular big shots are impressed by what a big shot I am. So don’t you go thinking that I’m just some ordinary demon, I’m nothing like those other peons walking the halls here.”  
Insecurity checked.  
“By the way, Diavolo is even MORE of a big shot, He’s so Important that he’s got his own castle. That’s why he doesn’t live here with us… Anyway, the long and short of it is that us seven brothers all live here together. Now it’s time to show you to your room.” Mammon continued.   
I glanced and saw a bulletin board nearby. What really caught my attention was a part-time posting. I would need money here. I walked over to the bulletin board and I was probably gawking.   
Mammon’s snapping took me out of my mental musings, “Hey, don’t just stand there with your jaw open. Hurry up, or I’m gonna leave ya behind. If there’s something you wanna ask me, you’d best do it now.”  
I thought for a moment, might as well try to be friendly. “Oh, sorry, I saw the job posting, but that’s self-explanatory. I am wondering about you, What are your hobbies?”  
“Hobbies? Pff, I don’t have any. “Mammon looked taken aback by the question, does no one here ask about him? Then he smiled. “Wait, how about this: I like taking it easy, laughing, and having fun! That’s my hobby! Eh, though I guess that’s more like a “lifestyle” than a hobby, huh? Wait, I thought of something else. I guess I also like watching Lucifer squirm, like when he’s in a bad situation and doesn’t know what to do. I dunno though, could you really call that a hobby?”   
That made me smile. And I thought my family had issues. But I guess younger siblings enjoy seeing the elder one not be perfect, I guessed? I was an only child, so it was an assumption.   
“Anyway, I was actually asking if you had questions about life here at the dorm.” I knew that, but I am more interested in people… the demons “I don’t get why you wanna talk about me…”  
I shrugged. “Just being friendly. Besides, I find this interesting, so I want to know more.”   
He shrugged, he was convinced I was insane at this point, “Now, I’m gonna give you a piece of advice, so listen up. If you wanna survive even a day here in the Devildom, you’s better listen REAL close to what I’m about to say. If it ever looks like a demon is about to attack you, run away. Either that or die.”  
“Noted.”  
“How about this? I vote for YOU to die, Mammon” A boy who looked about Mammon’s age walked up very angry.   
“Dáh…! Levi…” Mammon jumped.   
“Yh, I- listen up, human! This here is Leviathan, the Avatar of Envy, He is the third oldest of us brothers. Since his name’s sorta hard to say, you can just call him Levi! Okay then let’s move on.” Mammon smiled.   
“Leviathan… is not hard to say…” I said slowly as I considered if Mammon was daft.   
“Mammon, give me back my money. Then go crawl in a hole and die.” Leviathan was upset.   
Talk about family issues. Maybe not having siblings is a damn blessing.   
“Come on, I told you I’d get it to you! I just need a little more time… and you still want me to die even after I give it back? That’s real harsh, Levi!” Mammon said disappointed.   
“You need a little more time? How much more?” Leviathan asked sternly.   
“A little more, okay?! A little more means a little more!” Mammon exclaimed.   
“You’ve been telling me that for the last 200 years, Mammon.” Leviathan continued.  
“Oof” I said outloud, maybe Mammon was a BakaDere.  
“Hey, no! It hasn’t been 200 years!, It’s been 260! Get it right, Levi!” Mammon snapped.  
“Mega oof.”That was not a good defense.   
I was looking back and forward between the brothers.   
Leviathan was in disbelief “Unbelievable, Seriously Mammon, you’re-“  
Mammon interrupted, “I’m what? Scum? It that what you’re gonna say?”   
That confirms it, Mammon acts this way to make up for the fact that others put him down, I felt bad now.   
“You’re a lowlife and a waste of space.” Leviathan snapped.   
“Hey! Come on, that’s even worse!” Mammon exclaimed.  
“Whatever…. Just give me back my money. I need it to buy the Blu-ray box set of the Journey to the Devildom: The Tale of a Little She-Devil and he Reluctant Companion” Leviathan did not seem like he was about to give up. “The initial round of copied includes promotional tickets to a live event as a special bonus.” Leviathan said as if loving whatever he was talking about.   
“I’ve got no idea what you’re even talking about, Levi, but it doesn’t matter! Because I don’t even have any money to give you. How am I supposed to give back money I don’t have, huh?!” Mammon shrugged.  
“So then, you’re telling me you refuse to pay me back?” Leviathan asked.  
“….What? You lookin’ for a fight, is that it?” Mammon challenged.   
I continued to watch the brothers, if there was a demon fight about to break, I had a front seat and wished I had popcorn.   
“Listen, human. You remember my advice from before about what to do when demons attack? Well, you’re about to witness that for real. So.. time for you to die, because it’s either you or me and it ain’t gonna be me!”   
“Hold on, I thought your advice was to either run away or- “ Leviathan was cut off by Mammon shoving me towards Leviathan and darted off.  
“Wh… dammit! , Mammon! That ass… he ran off…! Do you realize what just happened? Mammon used you as a distraction to get away from me. .. Or maybe I should say he used you as a sacrifice. I’ll admit that Mammon is one of the scummiest scumbags you’ll ever meet… a total lowlife. But still, that was pretty dumb of you letting him use you like that.” Leviathan sighed, “This is EXACTLY why humans are “He stopped as if he realized something. I had a feeling I would have PTSD from the word human in a few days. “Wait a second. Humans… yes, that’s it… Suddenly, I’ve got an idea. Listen, are you free right now? Of course you are. You’ve gotta be, right? You know what? Never mind. Either way, You’re coming with me.”  
Leviathan grabbed my arm and pulled me away.   
“What is with these demon’s dragging me around? I can walk.” I mumbled  
I got a text from Mammon making some lame excuse, telling me to ask Leviathan for questions and to not tell Lucifer. I replied with the upset emoji.   
Leviathan dragged me up the stairs down a hallway, he looked around and then pushed me into the room, then looked around again before closing the door. He seemed paranoid.   
“Why…. Are you so paranoid?” I asked.   
“You want to know why I looked around to see if anyone was watching before I closed the door? Isn’t it obvious?” I shook my head “Imagine what would happen if someone saw me inviting you into my room! A human who doesn’t even look like an otaku, but a normie!” I looked down at my Hot Topic anime tank top, then up at him again. I mean I was in my house, wearing comfy clothing before waking up here. I was not huge on graphic tees, but I WAS wearing an anime top “You know what people would say, right?!”  
I rolled my eyes. Then really took in Leviathan’s room, it was so pretty, like an aquarium. It was full of posters and figurines. It was amazing. I would not call myself an otaku, but I did watch anime, play video games and read manga from time to time. I would not say I was super passionate; my true passion was something else, but I did enjoy anime. SO, this room was amazing.  
I smiled, “Are you an Otaku Leviathan?” I asked  
“Hey! Are you trying to judge me? You think you’re better than me, is that it? Don’t you dare make fun of otakus. Listen up, because its time for a truth bomb. The fact is that no matter how much of a normie you think you are, everyone out there is an otaku in some way! Every single person! … Well, I mean, I guess I’m not technically a person, but that’s beside the point!” Leviathan did not even flinch or take a breath.   
Oof, insecurities. “Actually, no judgement here, I enjoy anime as well and person legit transfers not just to human, but it literally means “Individual” You are an individual, even if you are a demon. Now chill the fuck out with them insecurities.” I said sternly.   
Leviathan was stunned and silenced.  
I moved into the room and looked at all the thick books, strategy books, mangas and a gaming set up with three screens. I spotted a book that looked like an encyclopedia, The Tale of the Seven Lords: The Lord of Shadow Awakens.   
Leviathan seemed to notice my curiosity, “What is it, human? What’re you looking at?” He smiled when he noticed what it was “Wait, that looks like… The Tale of the seven Lords. Are you a fan of that too?”   
I was not about to lie, “Huh? Never heard of it….but it looks interesting. What is it about?” I asked smiling  
Leviathan seemed offended, shooked and he started rambling without stop. But in a single sentence he called me: human, clueless, wasting my life, among other things, then went on about TSL, he looked so happy, he looked so passionate, it was super cute. I could not help but listen intently, smile and nod in response. Then he showed me his goldfish, which he named after his favorite character from the series. Aww. This made me think that Demons are kind of like animals in a way. Mammon was certainly an injured puppy.   
“…But I can’t really high-five a goldfish, can I?” he looked sad. So, he did not have any actual real-life friends and this family did not seem too close. I felt so bad for them and for Leviathan.   
“That’s why I’m so jealous of you guys. Humans are so lucky. You’ve got subscription services that let you watch your favorite anime anytime; you can go to Akihabara whenever you want… “ Leviathan continued.   
Did he realize that those things required money?   
Leviathan continued to talk about Japan and even if I did feel a little bad for him, yet, I could not resist rolling my eye. “…Actually, you know what? I want to BE Henry!”   
Poor child, “and someday you WILL be Henry.” I said reassuringly.   
“Stop it. I know you’re just saying that to make me feel better. Don’t lie to me.”   
“Leviathan, maybe you can’t exactly BE Henry, but you can be like him if that is what you want. But so far, Leviathan seems pretty awesome to me.” I told him with a smile.   
“…All right, enough. This is starting to depress me.” He said.   
I turned and ran across the room to the tub, “OMG, is this a bedtub?” The whole concept seemed amazing and weird, but the fact that it was a BED-TUB was super interesting to me.  
Leviathan shook his head in confusion. “What?”  
“It’s a bedtub. This is so weird and cool at the same time.” I said feeling proud of the term my mind made on the fly.   
“are you making fun of me?!” He exclaimed.  
I turned to look at him sheepishly, I was the one being weird. “Sorry, no, just exited… this room is super cool. So far you are the coolest demon I have met.”   
He blushed, he was cute, “Anyway, I didn’t bring you here to tell you about TSL or for you to gawk at my room or my bedtub. I don’t think there’s any harm in just coming out and saying what you already know is true: Mammon is a complete scumbag. It’s very important that you understand this. So, I’ll say it one more time. Mammon is a hopeless, worthless, scumbag.” Leviathan enunciated each of the last three words individually and screaming the last one.   
“He probably is, but why are you so mad at your brother?” I asked, I was a little concern, I knew my aunts borrowed money from my parents all the time and never paid.   
“I lent that scumbag money, and now I want him to pay me back. But being the scumbag that he is, he won’t do it. I wish I could force him to, but Despite what a rotten waste of space he is, Mammon’s still the second oldest. As the third oldest, no matter how hard I try, I don’t stand a chance against him.” Leviathan finally explained.   
I nodded, okay so like, their birth order is also their strength order? With Lucifer at the top of that pyramid under Diavolo?   
Then he explained how him and Mammon became enemies, which is a sad concept how siblings can become enemies.   
Demons really liked to hear themselves talk. “But if, say, a human made a pact with Mammon and bound him to their service then he’d have to do whatever that human told him to. Which means that if you make a pact with Mammon and then ordered him to give me back my money he wouldn’t have choice but to do it.” And there was the reason for me being here.   
This was uncharted territory. I have read about pacts, but I was not quite sure how they really work. Humans tend to twist the truth. “What’s a pact?” I asked curiously  
“A pact, with a demon… Haven’t you seen that in movies and such?” Leviathan asked.   
“Um… yeah, but I doubt it’s the same. Movies make it look like summoning monsters and shit like that. Which usually entail a soul in exchange for a favor. I don’t believe any of that. So, explain to me how it actually works.” I replied.   
“The demon lends his strength to a human to make their wish come true in exchange for their soul.” Leviathan replied.   
“Yeah, of all the demons I have met today, the last one, I would I willingly give my soul too Is Mammon. But continue.” I replied.   
“That isn’t always necessary. It depends on what’s in the pact.” Leviathan replied.   
“Okay, I am listening, go on…” I prompted.  
“But, well, you need to give SOMETHING to the demon to make it worth the exchange, so it’s pretty much inevitable.” Leviathan continued.  
“Yeah, no. Not giving him my soul for your money.” I continued; he must have already known that would be my answer.   
“If you don’t want to give up your soul, then I’ll tell you how you can negotiate with Mammon. Also, I’m sure it would be useful having him as your servant. I mean, despite how awful he is, he’s still a powerful demon.” Leviathan continued, making sure that I understood I got something out of helping him.   
“I hear you, maybe I’ll help. Convince me.” I told him.   
“But I bet you feel worried, being dragged down here to the Devildom and all. So, I don’t think it would end up being a bad deal for you either. Don’t you agree?” Leviathan continued.  
Honestly, my biggest concern about being in Hell- Devildom was pissing off a demon and them killing me slowly and painfully. However, I still wanted to learn more. “So… How would I make a pact with Mammon without giving up my soul?”   
“I take it this means you think this plan of mine could work, right? Excellent. You may be human, but still… you show some promise!” Leviathan replied.  
“Why thank you, Leviathan, you don’t seem too bad yourself.” I told him with a smile.  
Leviathan did not seem too moved with my reply “Regardless, if I’m being honest, I don’t really care what you think.” I rolled my eyes. “What matters is that I have a plan, and I’m going to explain it to you now. So, shut up and listen.”  
I sighed and nodded. Demons really like to hear themselves talk.   
“If you just walk up to Mammon and ask him to make a pact with you, he’ll never agree.” Leviathan began to explain his master plan.   
“Obviously.” I replied.  
Leviathan ignored me and continued, “No, you need some leverage… a bargaining chip. You’re going to offer him something in return. Something he wats so bad that he’d do ANYTHING to get it.”   
Leviathan went into detail about his plan, explaining that Lucifer took Mammon’s priced position and I nodded. Eventually I agreed. I mean, I get that Mammon has some issues, but I was not too happy with how he treated me, I felt some revenge was in order.   
“Okay, I can do some recon, but then, how do I make the pact? Do we have to do something specific? Do I make some random chant, an invocation?” I asked.  
“Don’t you know anything, human! The demon takes the oath and you verbalize the agreement.” Leviathan replied frustrated.  
I sighed, “Again, I am not assuming anything, is that it?”  
He rolled his eyes, “that’s it, what were you expecting?”  
“I dunno, some kind of sacrifice, my blood spilling, a ritual, I don’t know. Okay, and what happens when we verbalize the agreement?”  
Leviathan grunted, “the pact will manifest itself, it really depends on your personality, how it will show. Like, if you have strong magic it might just float in the air and dissipate, or a tattoo, or you can get a charm. I can’t say how yours will show.”  
I clapped like a child, “Oooh I hope it’s a tattoo!!! Will it be pretty? Like what is it that appears?” I said a little to exited.   
Leviathan eyed me like I was insane, “The pact will show with the demon’s symbol or mark, again, it depends.”  
“WOOOW, that’s so cool! If it’s a tattoo, will it be big? Or small or does that depend too?” I asked.   
He looked worried then scoffed “What a normie, getting excited over tattoos! It depends human!”


	3. A Dinner Among Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina teaches her Housemates who exactly they are dealing with.

Chapter 3: A Dinner Among Demons  
Leviathan ended up showing me where my bedroom was and that I knew where nothing else was in this Dorm. The bedroom was beautiful I loved it, the tree, the space was enormous, a very nice big bed, mine was a full. On the table there was a folder on the table with the RAD logo. In the folder there was a map of the school, a list of my classes, professors and all the relevant information I needed. There was a bag, some notebooks, pens and pencils. The only thing in my closet were some RAD uniforms. I looked through the drawers and there was nothing else… I would need some more things to wear. I would discuss that with Diavolo.  
Later I sat on the dining table with all six of the demons whom I would be spending an entire year with.  
I guess I should have been scared, however, I was thrilled by how new this all was. I was never one to just get scared. I was actually quite trilled to experience things myself and I had always relished by discovering the unknown.  
We ate in silence; I was a stranger to their family meal and I could feel it. I mean, I got it, shoving a random person to live with you and sharing meals without knowing anything about them, must be bizarre. Yes, I was excited, but I also felt a little subconscious.  
“So, Valentina, I imagine this is quite a shock, however we expect you to get acclimated soon.” Lucifer broke the awkward silence.  
I eyed him, I did not quite trust these demons and specially Lucifer. His pride literally made his presence fill the room. His all-knowing attitude, Kind of got on my nerves already.  
“Um, I appreciate the fake concern… but… no, no shock and I am a fast learner. ‘Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door’ .” I said with a smile.  
Only the Satan seemed impressed with my Dickinson Quote.  
“Ah, well the, that’s excellent, I figured given your… background, this would come with some difficulties.” Lucifer replied nonchalant. Ignoring that I called his concern fake.  
That struck a never, I gave him a sarcastic smile, “Background…” I treaded that word carefully, “Is it because I went to a catholic school…” I stopped, took a sharp breath, “or is it because Of my heritage?” I asked with a bitter smile on my face.  
If there was something I loathed, it was assumptions. I disliked how people assumed that, due to heritage reasons, Latin people were of a specific type of religion. I liked to think that it had changed, but I was not so sure if demons knew anything about humans. There was also the fact that I went to a religious school, which was imposed on me and if that experience taught me anything, it was that one should not let others dictate your believes.  
“I suppose both.” Lucifer replied and he took a sip of his drink. He looked disinterested.  
I knew everyone was looking between us.  
These demons might have lived many many years, but this had made it her business to school them while she was here.  
“Well, since I will be here for an entire year, I am going to give you guys a piece of my mind.” I began and then turned to all the other demons who had been eyeing me curiously, except Beelzebub who was just eating, like a vacuum. Then turned my attention back to Lucifer. “I know that, to you guys,” I gestured around the table, “humans are probably pretty dumb and fickle;” Mammon snorted “got that right” in agreement, “however I will ask you all to not judge me based on others. Don’t be based on stupid presumptions. And as much as I love books and reading, I am not ignorant enough to let a book dictate my life or define me. So, based on all that bad rep you guys get, I expect you guys” I looked around and then I gave a pointed look at Lucifer, moving my eyes from his eyes down while gesturing with my chin, “Should be a little wiser than to make biased presumptions” I said with a smile.  
Lucifer gave a shocked expression much to my satisfaction, to which I gave him the sweetest smile I could muster and continued to eat.  
Leviathan and Mammon were looking at me then at Lucifer as if I would blow up. Asmodeus gave an impressed nod. Satan seemed quite satisfied with how his brother had a human talk back to him. Beelzebub merely looked at me nodded and continued vacuuming food.  
Satan broke the silence, “I did not take you for a reader.”  
I smiled and turned to the demon, whom I had decided was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I had seen him turn dangerous with a smile on his face. “Yes, I mean ‘The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.’”  
“Jane Austen, I see, perhaps you are actually well read?” He asked.  
“I love to read. It’s a great distraction from all too predictable human life. And I imagine, my being at home clothes’ do not say much about my hobbies, does it?... you know, I was not expecting to be kidnaped and brought here.” I turned to Lucifer, knowing he was second in command, “ If you had asked I would have come with a suitcase and with some personals.” Then I looked back at Satan, “But anyways, you were saying, Satan?”  
“So, what do you read?” Satan said and took a bite of his food .  
“Just about anything, when I was younger I was fascinated by things that lead me to learn, later philosophy, I do enjoy fiction, fantasy, but I love literature, poetry, epics and such.” I explained  
That seemed to catch him off guard, “Interesting, what is your favorite?”  
I was surprised to have gotten someone’s attention. I smiled sheepishly at him, “ Well, ‘Books ARE mirrors of the soul’ and I am not ready to reveal that much.” I said suggestively. Besides, I had hope to pick his brain if he was so into the idea of reading.  
Satan seemed impressed “Virginia Wolf, you are a poetry person, then?”  
I smiled brightly at him, “Yes. To give you a hint, epics are my thing.”  
Satan gave me an understanding nod. “I can give a guess as too which ones you enjoy?”  
“Ah, then that’s conversation for another time, so I’ll hold you too that.” I turned my attention to the others, “Thank you for the food, buenas noches.” I said and got up the table and slipped into her bedroom.  
The demons eyed me like I was an anomaly.  
As I left I heard them talking about me; they were not exactly quiet,  
“Did she just go straight for the final boss?” Leviathan said.  
“So, passionate!” Asmodeus said.  
I heard Mammon speak loudly “She talked back to Lucifer!”, followed by a loud wine. Lucifer probably punched him again.  
At least my bathroom basic toiletries, so I was able to shower, brush my teeth and grabbed a robe to sleep in.  
I could not sleep. That was something I had worried about, my insomnia with nothing to keep me occupied. The bed was comfy, the bedroom was huge and beautiful; but it was new and strange. Not in a bad way. But I very much wanted to explore the House of Lamentation. It was a big place. Normally, on a lonely night I would be writing or playing music, however, I did not have any of that at my disposal. That usually helped keep my insomnia and anxiety at bay, however, without that luxury, walking around the House of Lamentation seemed like a very good idea at the time. I started wandering the halls.  
“Valentina, what might a human be doing wondering the house after hours?” Lucifer’s voice startled me, does this man sleep? Do demons sleep?  
“Um… I was not aware there was an ‘after hours’ timing and the lighting is not too helpful and I could not sleep.” I said shifting uncomfortably. I was not comfortable in what I was wearing at all.  
“Ah, I see, Mammon should have explained to you some ground rules, there is a curfew. Given, your lack of knowledge, I will overlook this, and you will return to your bedroom.” Lucifer said dismissingly.  
I was taken aback by his cold reply. I would not have him ordering me like this either. “Well… I just wanted to explore the place I will be living in. I only know where my room is, where’s Levi’s, the dining room and the kitchen. So, I was hoping to find some way to occupy myself. I am like, super bored in my room with nothing read, or write, or anything really.”  
I had challenged Lucifer twice today and I had not been maimed, so maybe he was not too dangerous after all.  
He glared at me, “Hmm” he placed a finger to his lips, “perhaps a book from our library will be what you need to make you feel more comfortable then.”  
Lucifer turned and I followed him to an amazing library, it had so many books. The second thing I loved most, books, everywhere.  
I walked in and looked around, until I found something that caught my attention. The history of Devildom, might as well learn about where I am staying. I grabbed the book and made my way back to Lucifer who stood in the doorway.  
“Can I borrow this? I promise to return it where I found it after I am done.” I replied.  
He eyed what I grabbed then gave me a look filled with curiosity. “There is a class for that.”  
“Well, I mean, I saw the list, but I don’t know how my classes will be and I am interested in knowing about this place. I want to learn.” I replied with a smile, it made me happy to learn about this place.  
“If you are hoping to find a way home, you will not find it there?” Lucifer cautioned.  
I gave him a look of disbelief. “ What? That is not what I want. Are you insane? actually, I am very excited about this opportunity and I hope that you can accept that I kinda want to be here right now.”  
I couldn’t read his expression, annoyance and curiosity, “Very well, now return to your room and have Mammon give you a proper tour tomorrow.”  
“Thank you and I will.” I said with a smile.  
I made my way to my room where I spent the entire night reading and did not sleep.  
Luckily I had an alarm set in my D.D.D. to be able to be on time for getting ready for class and I made a point to head out early, in hopes of catching Diavolo before class.  
I made my way to Diavolo’s office right by the student council, bless signs.  
I knocked, hoping that he was in.  
“Come in, “ I heard his voice call and I opened the door.  
“Good morning, Lord Diavolo” I greeted as I stepped in.  
“Ah, Valentina, please come in, how was your first night in Devildom?” He asked cheerfully.  
I smiled, I could not help it, his smile was contagious. “I did not sleep.”  
Diavolo frowned, “I hope the brothers didn’t make you uncomfortable.”  
I shook my head, “No, not at all. Actually, I have a bit of an insomnia problem. Which is why I came to talk to you.”  
Diavolo gestured to a chair by his desk. “Ah, please seat.”  
I nodded and sat at the chair he gestured. “Well, as lovely as it is to be here, I might die of boredom if all I do is study. I don’t know how you chose me to be an exchange student or if you really looked up any information about me, but I really really need my music stuff. I don’t know how to survive without it and I need some clothes…”  
Diavolo nodded in understanding. “I see, I was not aware you were a musician, Valentina. What exactly do you need?”  
I threaded slowly, since I did not know how this realm travel stuff worked and did not want to be rude. “Well, I like writing, recording and playing music. Sooooo, I would be super super grateful if I could have my equipment.”  
“Ah, well, we are not returning you to the Human Realm yet. But perhaps I can arrange your essentials to be brought to the House of Lamentation.”  
That made me so happy. “OH my god, Please and thank you, thank you thank you!”  
He gave me a stern look, “We don’t use the term God here, try avoiding it around the brothers, they won’t take kindly to that.”  
Oops, I should have known better. I frowned, “Sorry, its an expression. I will remove it from my vocabulary.”  
Diavolo smiled kindly, “That’s okay, anyways, tell me where would we get these items you are requesting?”  
I smiled. “Well, in my house, I assume you know where that is, since I was taken from there and which should be empty as my parents are probably traveling. In my room, up the stairs to the right, there is a laptop that is hooked to a bunch of cables, a console, a hardrive, a small electric drum set, a guitar and keyboard. There is one side of the bedroom with cases for everything with an case with an electric violin. Everything in that corner with the bags is for the same purpose.”  
I saw Diavolo taking note of what I was saying.  
“I know it’s a lot, sorry.” I said apologetically.  
Diavolo nodded, “I am not aware if you know, but the House of Lamentation has a music room.”  
“It does? That’s so cool, what does it have? Can I use the instruments?” I asked excitedly.  
“You should ask Lucifer, but they do have a grand piano.” Diavolo replied.  
I could feel the excitement vibrating my entire body, I put my hands on the desk, “HOLY SHIT CAN I USE IT?!!”  
Diavolo couldn’t help laugh at my excitement, “If anyone protests, tell them you have my permission. Be sure to have someone show you where it is.”  
“AHHHH THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!” I replied excitedly, maybe I won’t die of boredom. My next greatest threat was getting eaten.  
Diavolo chuckled, “Of course, we want you to feel right at home. You mentioned clothes as well, you have anything in specific you have in mind?”  
I nodded and listed a few tops, two dresses, two skirts, a pair of jeans and two pajamas. I needed undergarments but I am not sure how comfortable I felt about someone rummaging trough them.  
Diavolo took note of what I asked for. “Very well, I should have had these things in mind when bringing an exchange student without their knowledge. I apologize, you will have what you requested, but in return I have a request of my own.”  
I stared at him. What could the lord of Devildom want from me. Probably my soul by the time this is all done.  
“I want a copy of everything you record during your stay. I am very interested in seeing what you come up with.” Diavolo replied sternly.  
The look he gave me seemed like he was asking me for something of dire importance. “Of course. Thank you so much.”  
“Alright, we will keep this between us. this might have to wait, since we are quite busy with the new exchange program beginning and all. Also, be sure to go shopping and bill everything to me.” He gave me an envelope.  
I got up with a smile and walked around the desk and gave him a hug. “Thank you!!!”  
Diavolo seemed confused for a moment then returned my hug.  
“Sorry, too much? Where I come from, hugging is normal and I’m definitely a hugger.” I replied apologetically.  
“Ah, affectionate as well, lets see how that goes in the House of Lamentation, it might be what they need.” He replied with a nod.  
I gave him a slight bow of my head, thanked him again before leaving.  
I walked down the halls towards my first class and I heard two demons talking amongst themselves as I passed. Making remarks about Mammon being my ‘babysitter’ and that they would attack me when he wasn’t paying attention so they could eat me.  
‘Like now?’ Mammon hadn’t paid much attention.  
I was no pushover, so I turned to confront them, but a voice caught my attention. “Hey, you there.”  
I turned towards the voice and saw a man with white hair. “That’s right, I’m talking to you, the human with that frightened tormented look on your face that demons love so much.”  
If my annoyed face looked that way, I really had to work on it.  
“You’re practical screaming, “come and eat me! I’m scrumptious!, your name’s Valentina, isn’t it?”  
I already didn’t like this guy, a little too cocky for first impressions.  
I glared at him.  
“This D.D.D. here belongs to you, right? I as you drop it just now. Here, take it.” He said as he handed me the D.D.D..  
No, I did not drop it…  
He laughed, “What’s with that look? There’s no need to be suspicious of me.”  
Right, totally not creepy.  
He finally introduced himself with a smile, “MY name is Solomon. I’m an exchange student from the human world, just like you. Nice to meet you, Valentina.”  
I eyed him, “How do you know my name?”  
He laughed, “You’re probably not aware of this, but you’re a bit of a celebrity here at RAD right now. Just being an exchange student from the human world makes you special enough But on top of that, you’ve got an infamous demon like Mammon looking after you as well.”  
I looked at him, he didn’t seem human. “Are you really human?” This man was giving me a Grindelwald vibe.  
Solomon laughed, “good question. Honestly, there are times when even I’m not sure”  
Modest, much? I thought sarcastically  
“Long ago, I obtained a ring of wisdom-a gift” right, he killed someone for it. “from a certain someone in a VERY high position. And, drunk on its power I used it to form pacts with 72 different demons, becoming a wicked sorcerer…That is, if you believe all the stories people tell about me.”  
The way he said that with a thoughtful look on his face, says he was not drunk with power, but very much had 72 demons in his service. I wondered if any of the brothers were in his service.  
“Regardless, I’m fairly sure that I am indeed still human, though it may not seem like it.” It was time for class, “Uh-oh, I’d better get going. See you around, Valentina. Take care of yourself.” And with that he walked away.  
That was weird.  
I made my way to my class, only to be stopped by Lucifer, standing in front of me.  
“Good morning, Valentina” He smiled, “You have become quite the celebrity here, haven’t you?”  
I smiled politely at him. “Good morning, Lucifer.”  
“Looks, like you made it through the night without being eaten. Good for you. Still, there’s no guarantee you’ll make it until tomorrow.” He warned.  
I rolled my eyes, what a dickish thing to say. “You aren’t scaring me Lucifer.”  
He ignored my comment. “Was that Solomon I saw you talking with earlier.”  
I nodded, “Yeah, modesty is not his virtue”  
Lucifer nodded and gave me a stern look, “You and he are the only two students from the human world here.”  
“I am aware,” I replied curtly.  
His face displayed mild annoyance, “Seeing as you’re both human, it’s fine if you associate with him, but know that he can’t be trusted.”  
“But your obviously callous ass can?” That totally slipped.  
His eyes narrowed “He may be a mere human, but he has a ring imbued with wisdom, and he wilds powerful magic. He’s the type of man who will try to subjugate even a powerful, greater demon if gets the chance.” He said sternly.  
That confirms my initial thoughts.  
Then I remembered Leviathan said I had to ask Lucifer about Mammon’s credit card.  
Lucifer smiled, giving me a knowing look. ‘creepy’ I thought. “What is it, Valentina? Is there something you want to ask me?”  
He couldn’t possibly know…  
“What happens when student’s things are confiscated.”  
Lucifer looked shocked; well I did not ask what he was expecting. “Why would you want to know something like that? Regardless, I suppose it doesn’t hurt to tell you… Compared to other schools, RAD traditionally allows its students quite a bit of freedom. However, if the student council decides that a student possesses something that is causing problems, we do confiscate it in some cases. Sometimes we return the item to the student after a certain amount of time has passes, and sometimes we don’t. Any particular reason you asked?”  
That didn’t tell me anything, “No, not really, I am just super curious. It’s all so new, you know.”  
Lucifer nodded in understanding, “Anything else you would like to ask.”  
I nodded, “As you are aware, I am having a little difficulty with getting Mammon to cooperate with me… So, I guess I need to get to know him better, he doesn’t refuse you, so maybe you can help me… Is there anything that’s like really important to him, or a weakness…” I was not good a lying, well, it wasn’t exactly a lie, but I was not being direct.  
Lucifer smirked, “Are you implying that you think I know his weaknesses, and can exploit them when I like? Because I suppose that is true in a way. However, that’s not the only reason he can’t say no to me.”  
I nodded, hoping he would give me more.  
Lucifer’s face shifted and I felt known. I was not deceiving him, but he complied anyways. “As long as we’re on the subject, it just happens that I’ve taken one particular weakness of his and frozen it.”  
Okay, so he froze the credit card… but why did he emphasize on those words…  
The bell rang.  
“That’s the first bell. Class is about to start. Time to get going. You’d better hurry too. You don’t want to be late on your first day here.” With that Lucifer walked away.  
His pride was intoxicating, in a bad way, the air about him could be a little obnoxious. But I was willing to give all the brothers the benefit of the doubt and it was my first day, I needed to get to know them before making my judgement about them.


	4. Setting the Demon Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this edition, Valentina teams up with the shut-in to catch her first demon. 
> 
> Who better to help in you catching quest, than the resident Otaku himself?

Chapter 4: Setting the Demon Trap  
When it was lunch time I pulled my D.D.D. and texted Leviathan.   
‘Got some, info. Can we meet up?’  
‘Not here, I don’t want to be seen with some normie human!’  
I sighed.   
Then I thought about what Diavolo said about getting some clothes… I wondered who I could ask. Mammon was supposed to be helping me, but I had not seen him since the day before and he probably had no clue where to get female stuff. After some thought, I figured the Avatar of Lust was the only option.   
I texted Asmodeus.   
‘Hey, Lord Diavolo said I should get some clothes, where would I go to obtain some female garments?’  
A few seconds later I saw three dots on the bottom and then there was a reply.   
‘Ah, Of course! Don’t worry, we are going shopping after classes!’  
That was kind of sweet, but I was not sure if it would be okay to ask him for that.   
‘Is that really okay? I don’t want to impose… if you can point me in the right direction.’  
A few seconds later I got my reply. ‘You can’t go shopping without moi! I will see you in front of RAD after classes.’   
I smiled. I figured the Avatar of Lust must know a thing or two about looking good.   
After classes I waited in front of the school for Asmodeus.  
Mammon came out first. “Yo! You human! What gives?”  
I gave him a confused look, “What?”  
He was irritated, “You told Lucifer I wasn’t helping ya! He said I had to give you a tour of the House of Lamentation! The Great Mammon doesn’t have time for that!”  
I rolled my eyes as he talked about himself in third person, then smiled, it was cute.   
“What are ya standin’ around for, lets get going!” Mammon snapped.  
I gave him an apologetic smile, “Sorry Mammon, you should deal with whatever it is you have to do. I am waiting for Asmodeus, he said he was taking me shopping.”  
Mammon looked confused for a moment.   
“Don’t have any clothes and I’m not going to sleep naked.” I offered.   
“Ah, hell nah, I ain’t leaving ya alone with that slimy bastard. Be grateful human, The Mammon will accompany you!” Mammon replied.   
He was so over dramatic. I crossed my arms and gestured with my right hand “Didn’t you just say that you had things to do?”  
He nodded and put his hands on his hips, “Yeah, so better make it quick.”  
I nodded, “Let me guess, one of the things is not getting hit or lectured my Lucifer?”  
“Exactly. Wait-“  
“Valentina! are you ready!” Asmodeus said in a sing song voice.  
I nodded.   
Asmodeus looked at Mammon, “what’s the idiot doing here?”  
“Hey, I’m not an idiot! And I’m going with ya!” Mammon snapped.  
Asmodeus gave him a grossed out expression, “Ah.” Then he turned to me, “Well, lets go”  
Asmodeus took me to Majolish, It wasn’t long before he got a sense of my style, dark colors, he still managed to sneak in a white blouse and some other lighter colored stuff into the mix. I got a choker that I liked, stud earrings to wear to RAD and some long ones to wear out. I also got a few pajamas and three pairs of shoes, boots, knee high ones with a small heel, stiletto boots and some Mary-janes. I didn’t want to splurge, so I got the essentials, specially some much needed undergarments, which Asmodeus was a little too excited to pick out.  
Mammon bitched the entire time.   
When we arrived to the House of Lamentation, we went to my Bedroom and Asmodeus helped me put everything away and insisted I called him Asmo, I didn’t dare using nicknames, unless the person specifically said I could. I told him to call me ‘Vee’.   
Mammon gave me a brief tour, which consisted of showing me which were the bedrooms, the library, Lucifer’s study, where he warned me not to go uninvited and after begging, the music room.   
I practically ran to the piano and started feeling the keys, I had never played on an actual piano. I started playing my favorite song immediately.  
Mammon rolled his eyes and left me alone.   
Before going to dinner, I knocked on Levi’s room and informed him of what Lucifer had told me.  
After dinner I went to my bedroom and I couldn’t sleep, again. I was wondering why had I not met the seventh brother, I was a little confused, they used the number seven like it was a law, but no one even mentioned the seventh brother. I had read about the seven deadly sins, I knew the name and that he was the Avatar of Sloth…. But I was curious.   
My mental musings were interrupted by my D.D.D.. A text from Levi, making sure that he got the information correctly.  
‘Yep, I’m absolutely sure.’  
‘come to the kitchen. Right now’  
‘Don’t tell anyone what you’re doing. I don’t want anyone to mistakenly think that I hang out with some human normie.’  
I rolled my eyes and got up from my bed, put a bra on, I was not about to have someone I just met see my jiggling boobs. Then I made my way to the kitchen.   
I went into the kitchen where I saw Beelzebub.  
I started to walk away, I mean I was on a secret mission, I didn’t want him to see me, but he did anyways.   
“not so fast Are you going to pretend like you didn’t see me here or is it that you’re planning to tell on me?”  
“No, of course not.” I said returning to the kitchen.   
“Meh, I guess it doesn’t matter either way… Anyway, what’re you doing in the kitchen so late?” he asked.  
Why else is anyone in the kitchen in the middle of the night? “I was hungry.”  
He gave me the cutest smile “Ah, you’re hungry? That makes two of us then.” He got very serious, I imagined that the Avatar of Gluttony took food very seriously. “In that case, I understand. When you start feeling hungry in the middle of the night, it’s not like you can just wait until morning to eat. Oh, and the refrigerator’s empty. I already ate everything in there.”  
I smiled, “Damn, well, I will figure something out.” I stood there staring at him. Would it be okay if I ask the question that has been nagging at me…  
“What? Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?” I imagined he noticed the strain on my face.  
“Actually… I have been wondering… You guys mention that you are seven like all the time… who is the seventh brother? Why haven’t I met him?”  
Beelzebub got very serious, “Now listen, don’t you ever mention him in front of Lucifer.”  
I gave him a confused look; did they argue or something?   
He spoke sternly, “Just so we’re clear, I’m not going to tell you anything, either. Lucifer would yell at me if I did. And don’t bother asking any of my brothers, either. No one talks about him.” His face then fell and he looked so sad. “Even though he’s our brother… we have to treat him like he doesn’t exist…It’s not right… But since no one can defy Lucifer…”  
It wasn’t right and it clearly bothered Beelzebub. I put a hand on his arm, “Clearly it affects you a lot. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”  
His face seemed a little less sad, as if he had gotten a hold of his emotions. “You know what? This isn’t any of your business , human. I’m leaving. I’ve already eaten everything there was in the refrigerator now anyway.”   
PTSD and ‘human’ becoming a trigger word incoming.  
Something seemed to occur to him, as he smiled, “I’m pretty sure Lucifer is hiding a poisoned apple in his desk in the study”. Beelzebub said as he walked away.   
Wow, some family drama.   
“psst… hey!” I heard Leviathan’s voice.   
I smiled and looked around as if I did not know where the voice came from. “IS that you, God?”  
“Seriously? No! Over here! Look!” he said exasperated.   
I giggled, “What are you doing hiding there?”  
“What do you think? Beel was just here! I can’t have him finding me with you, now can I?!” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “So, it’s really true, right? Lucifer definitely used the word ‘frozen’? In that case, it could only be hidden in here” he walked towards the freezer.   
I looked at him like he had gone crazy, “In the freezer?”  
Leviathan opened the freezer and started rummaging trough its contents, “Hmmm.. all I see are a bunch of ice inside… O wait, loo! It’s the ice cream Satan hid from Beel about a century ago. I totally forgot about that. Heh, I‘m not going to tell him, though. It’ll spoil the joke. He’ll probably figure it out in another 2000 years or so, I’d say.”   
Did this weeb just make a pun?  
He seemed to find something. “wait a second. There’s something else there behind the ice.” Leviathan reached in and pulled an big block of ice with a black and gold card inside it. “Found it! Lucifer wasn’t lying. It really IS frozen! Ugh, it’s super heavy! And big too!”  
Damn it, the words Lucifer emphasized were hints. I’m dumb.  
He put it in the microwave to thaw for two minutes.   
I leaned against the cabinet waiting.   
Moments later Mammon walked in, “What’s with all the racket, you two?.... HEY, wait a minute. There in the microwave… That looks like Goldie” I rolled me eyes at the nickname, “my credit card! My baby! The one thing more important to me than life itself! Get it outta there before the microwave demagnetizes it and makes it useless!”  
I was shocked by the fact that Mammon knew the word ‘demagnetize’.   
“ooh, didn’t think of that. Better stop the defrost cycle, I guess” Leviathan said.   
I dashed to the microwave and pulled it out. Hugging what was left of the ice to my chest. It was cold and melting.   
“Levi, you idiot! How could you do somethin’ so stupid?! You’re dumb as a stump, ya know that?” Mammon snapped.   
I giggled, “What a stupid insult.”  
Leviathan then got cocky, “Hm, are you SURE you should be talking to me like that Mammon? After all, I’m the one who found the credit card Lucifer took from you.”  
Mammon seemed to calm down.  
“So, do you want the card back?” Leviathan said. This was clearly bullying.   
“You’d BETTER! … Um, I mean, yes, please. Please give it back, Leviathan sir..!” Mammon was on his knees begging.   
“Oh wow, this is embarrassing! I can’t believe that’s all it took for you to abandon your pride! You’re even down on your knees! You’re one of the seven rules of the Devildom. Mammon, shouldn’t you be ashamed of yourself?”  
Mammon did look ashamed, but the credit card was clearly worth more than his pride.  
“Well, whatever… Okay then, if you want your card back, you’ve got to give me the Seraphina figurine you won at the convenience store.” Leviathan said knowing he had Mammon where he wanted.  
“The Sera.. what, now? What’re ya talkin’about? I don’t remember winnin’ anything. “  
I shook my head, making a face to gesture towards Mammon, letting him know he fucked up.   
Leviathan’s weeb heart was wounded, “I don’t believe this! You forgot that you even have her! How could you?!”  
Mammon started winning, “Ugh, c’mon, enough! Whatever you want. I’ll give it to ya! Just give me back my credit card!”  
I was starting to think he forgot my part in this, “Levy.”  
Leviathan gestured, to let me know that he had not forgotten “All right but there’s one more condition.: I want you to make a pact with this human.”  
“I have a name,” I grunted  
Mammon started to comply “Right a pact, fine. I’m more than happy to do whatever you” He realized what he was saying “…wait WHAT?! Why d’ya want ME to make a PACT?!”   
Leviathan smiled in triumph, “Think about it: If you make the pact with Valentina, you’ll have to do whatever you’re told, right? Then Valentina will order you to give me my money back immediately. And since you can’t refuse a direct order from your master, you’ll do exactly that. Game over, I win!”   
Leviathan knew he had Mammon where he wanted him.   
“Pfft, I don’t believe this, It’s just money. Levi. I can’t believe you’d go trough all this trouble.” Mammon said as if he didn’t care.   
“But here you are groveling.” I remarked.   
“Exactly, remind me again which one of us tossed aside what little pride he had left, all to get his hands on a credit card?” Leviathan and I exchanged a conspirator glance.   
Mammon was upset. “Hey, you shut up! And you, human! What’re ya thinking, letting Levi use you like this? Are you stupid? Go on, say somethin’!”  
That was the last straw. “For fucks sake, I have a fucking name. Fucking use it. Second, yes, Leviathan is using me, but at least he is honest about it. Unlike some greedy fuck who used me as a sacrifice to get away from Levi!”I snapped.  
Leviathan gave an impressed nod.   
“Now, if you want this” I wiggled the ice cube. “you will make a pact with me.”   
Mammon got up and started waving his arms, “UH-UH, NO WAY! NOT INTRESTED! I am the Great Mammon, Avatar of Greed, one of the seven rulers of the Devildom! Fool… do you think I’d let some human be the boss of me?”   
I was about to smack him, but Leviathan grabbed my arm before I could even raise it. He smiled, “Oh Luuucifeer! Mammon’s here unfreezing his credit caaaard!”   
Mammon’s demeanor changed entirely, “I mean, of course I’ll make a pact with you, human! I’d be thrilled to!”  
“Take the oath,” Levi cautioned.   
“Argh!” Mammon complained then looked resigned, “I am Mammon, Avatar of Greed. I pledge myself to you, Valentina… that we may be bound by an unbreakable pact. This I swear to you on both my name as well as the very blood that runs through my veins.”  
I looked at Leviathan and he gestured for me to go ahead. “I, Valentina accept this pact from you Mammon, Avatar of Greed.”  
I felt a poke on my back in between my shoulder blades.   
“See, it was not too hard?” Leviathan replied.   
I handed the ice cube to the defeated looking Mammon.   
“GOLDIE!” he hugged the icecube.   
Mammon was about to run.   
“Wait!” I exclaimed.   
He froze in his place.   
Mammon whined.   
“Mammon, give your brother the figurine and return his money.”  
“I don’t even know what that is!!!” Mammon exclaimed.  
I shhhed him, “You want Lucifer to see that you have that. So, why don’t you take Levi to your room and have him find the figurine, since he clearly knows what he is looking for.”   
“FINE!” Mammon whined again. “I hate you, human.”  
I rolled my eyes, “Aww, you love me? I don’t think we are quite there yet. But I appreciate the sentiment.” I replied mockingly.


	5. Tamming the Mammon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentina learns what it is to train a demon.

Chapter 5: Taming the Mammon   
The next morning at breakfast everyone knew about the pact. Asmo, Satan and Beel sat on one side of the dining table and I sat next to Levi on the other side.   
Asmodeus was laughing.   
Satan was stern, “Asmodeus, keep your voice down. If Mammon hears you, he’ll get upset again, and we won’t hear the end of it.” Satan was more concerned about hearing Mammon never shut up.   
Asmodeus smiled, “Eh, he won’t be awake for a while. He’s really not a morning demon, you know? And anyways, how can you NOT laugh after what’s happened? I mean this is Mammon, and yet a human was able to play him like a fiddle and force him into a pact.”  
Satan couldn’t hold it in anymore and he laughed as well.   
“Hey, I hear you laughing, Satan! I know you think it’s funny too!” Asmo said.   
Beel was just eating, “mmm, this is delicious. The meat is so tender…”  
Leviathan snapped at him with concern, “Beel, calm down. You’re biting off chunks of your plate along with your food.  
Asmo leaned across the table, putting his elbows on the table and his face to his hands. He looked at me in the eyes, “Anyway, I have to say I’m surprised. I never thought an average human like you would be able to make a pact with Mammon – certainly not THIS fast. I guess they really did know what they were doing when they picked you for the exchange program, huh?”  
I smiled, “I still can’t believe it. I don’t completely understand it, but I am pleased. Regardless, it was all Levi. I just helped.”  
Asmo settled back in his chair and continued to eat.  
Satan smiled, “There’s no need to be humble about it. We’re not upset. Honestly, we think it’s pretty funny. Besides, we can just attribute it to beginner’s luck.”  
I narrowed my eyes, “It wasn’t luck, Levi literally strategized.”  
Leviathan smiled, “All I know is I finally got Mammon to give me back my money. So, I couldn’t ask for a better outcome! Epic win for Leviathan! I should’ve rounded up a random human and done this sooner!” After that he was gushing about the new anime with its promotional something.   
I smiled at Leviathan, he was so cute rambling about the things he was passionate about. “I’m glad I was able to help.”  
Asmodeus got very serious, “You know, I find it surprising enough that Valentina managed to make a pact with Mammon, but what’s even more shocking is the team-up with Levi that helped make it happen. Don’t you think?”  
Satan agreed, “Yep, I never thought I’d see the day that a human won over Levi, but here we are.” I was pretty sure he said it to set off the otaku.  
Leviathan blushed and put his fist to his face to hide it, it was adorable, “Excuse me?! Don’t go getting the wrong idea. Nobody won me over! Our interest just happened to align, that’s all! The relationship was purely business! I mean, why would I want anything to do with some non-otaku normie of a human? I wouldn’t! I mean, I’m spoken for! I’m np cheater! M-M-My one true love is-“  
He was interrupted by Beelzebub, “Cheeseburgers.”  
That made me laugh. Oh my god, that was random.  
Leviathan frowned, he didn’t like being interrupted, “No! That’s YOUR one true love, Beel!”  
Beelzebub looked like cheeseburgers were magic, “Mm…I get hungry just thinking about them.”  
“Anyways, maybe I haven’t won you over, but I have my normie ways.” I said with a brilliant smile.   
Asmodeus leaned across the table again. “You know, the way things are going, the rest of us might just find ourselves in a pact with Valentina as well if we’re not careful.”  
“I mean, I don’t want to make your lives particularly difficult. I don’t want to force anyone into anything…” I said nervously.   
Asmo smiled, “If you had your choice, which one of us would you forge a pact next, Valentina?”  
I was shocked at the question, “I mean, I don’t know any of you that well yet, I couldn’t possibly say if I specifically want a pact with any of you.”  
Asmo waved a hand like to wave off my comment, “Just the first one you would be inclined on making a pact with. Its hypothetical.”  
All of them were looking at me and I shuddered, I was not getting away without answering, “I mean, you did help me get clothes- “I began and he cut me off.   
Asmodeus beamed, “Yes, I’m not surprised you want me all to yourself. And I understand. Believe me, I do. All to well. Humans just can’t help themselves when confronted with someone beautiful and alluring, can they.”   
I put my hands up, “Nope, I am going to stop you right there, Asmo. While I think you are all” I air quoted “pretty”, “I am not finding the allure and I wasn’t saying that, I was saying that even though I am grateful for your help, I am more interested in picking his brain” I pointed at Satan, “Because books matter.” I replied.  
Satan frowned as if I had underestimated him or something of the sorts, “IF you want to make a pact with me, it’ll cost you. A lot. Though, if you offered your soul in return, I might consider it…”  
Asmodeus stared at me sternly, “You won’t be able to tame us as easily as you did Mammon, Valentina.”   
“You are talking as if you guys are feral animals that I HAVE to tame. I don’t think that way.” I exclaimed.   
Then he frowned, “In fact, it’s quite offensive of you to think that we’re as stupid as that poor excuse of a demon.”  
“YOU FUCKING ASKED!” I said frustrated. And I felt a foreign pang in my chest at the insult towards Mammon.   
At that same time, Mammon hit Asmodeus over the head.   
Asmodeus was in shock, “OW! Why’d you hit me?! I can’t believe you actually STRUCK my beautiful, beautiful head! Not even Lucifer has ever done something like that! Why are you always getting so VIOLENT with me, Mammon?”  
Mammon was unmoved, “That was for callin’ me a poor excuse for a demon, you peabrain! Actually,   
“I oughta hit all of ya, the way you talk about me. Y’all think you’re so great.”  
Satan frowned, “It’s not that we think we’re so great.”  
“No, not at all. We just think you’re a complete and utter fool.” Asmo said and the honesty in it was a little painful.   
“HEY, that’s even worse! Don’t treat me like I’m stupid!” Mammon exclaimed.   
“Oh, I’m afraid that’s one thing that’s not going to change.” Satan replied with complete seriousness.   
“Nope.” Asmo added.   
Beelzebub then mussed about food being delicious. His mind was not in the conversation at all.   
I had all sorts of warning bells ringing in my head, it upset me that they were being mean to Mammon. I had just met the demon, why did I care?  
“Serves you right, Mammon! Lololol” Leviathan was still rubbing in Mammon’s face the victory over his older brother.   
I smiled, “Well, if this meal has taught me anything, its that…”I paused looked at Satan sternly “demons have” then I looked at Leviathan to my right “the” and Mammon who sat next to my left “most” then I looked at Asmodeus in the eyes with the most teasing smile I could muster, “fragile” I said the word slowly. “egos.”   
Everyone stared at me with their wide eyed and incredulous.   
I gave Asmodeus a pointed look, “Yeah, my boner is confused too. It’s okay.”  
That gave me more incredulous looks. Especially, since I could not have a boner, being a girl, but It was an amusing reaction.   
I laughed, “Relax boys. I’m messing with ya’. It’s not that bad. Don’t worry, MY ego isn’t fragile…”  
Leviathan nodded, “I know someone who threw away all their ego…”  
Mammon was still down and complaining. “I hate every last one of you.” Then he wined some more. “None of this would’ve happened to begin with if it weren’t for that bastard Lucifer! It’s all because he took my credit card from me! Just snatched Goldie away- kidnapped her against her will!”  
Levy grimaced, “ Ugh, don’t talk about your credit card like it’s a person. It’s gross”  
“Mmhm, it really is…” Asmo agreed .  
“SHUT UP, both of ya!” Mammon snapped. “Also, I can’t believe that when he said he froze it, he meant that LITERALLY! Who sticks a credit card in the freezer?! What’s up with that?! Was it supposed to be some sorta dad joke?! ‘Cause if so, it was awfully lame!”  
I looked up at Lucifer and his stare made me want to go hide in a bunker.   
Mammon didn’t shut up, “Eh, guess maybe I shoulda expected somethin’ like that from him. I mean, he may not be a dad, but he’s pretty old, isn’t he?” I had to stifle a laugh, “Guess I shouldn’t be surprised he’s a fan of dad jokes.” Mammon then started laughing at himself. “Man, I gotta stop laughin’so hard. My stomach is hurtin’! But you gotta agree, Lucifer is pretty old, isn’t he?   
“You think?” Lucifer said.   
Mammon screamed.   
Lucifer then hit Mammon over the head.   
I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep myself from laughing. Okay, so the insults were one thing, but I wasn’t faced by the fact he was hit. Interesting.   
“Ow! Hey, what’s the big idea?! You didn’t have to hit me THAT hard!” Mammon complained.  
“You know, he’s so stupid that it’s almost sad.” Asmodeus said with disappointed.   
“Mmhmm. I can’t believe he’s actually our brother. It’s almost like we’re being punished or something.” Satan agreed.   
“Hey, I heard that!” Mammon snapped.   
Lucifer sat at the head of the table and turned to me, “I heard about what happened, Valentina. Apparently you outfoxed a certain dimwit of a demon and forged a pact with him.”  
Mammon glared at his brother, “Who’re you callin’ a dimwit?!”  
I nodded, “Why do you have to call him that?” It slipped. What was wrong with me?  
Lucifer ignored both comment. “Your opponent may have been stupid, but even so, you’ve only just arrived. It’s a real accomplishment managing a feat like that in such a short span of time. Well done. I imagine Diavolo will be pleased as well. We continue to expect big things from you.”  
Mammon stayed quiet for a moment then grabbed my arm, “Hey, human! C’mon, time to get going. Don’t just sit there with your head in the clouds. It’s time for class! So, let’s go!”  
Mammon dragged me towards the stairs, “Seriously, what’s with that guy? He can’t go a single minute without bringin’ up Diavolo. It’s always Diavolo this, Diavolo that, If Diavolo told you to go jump off a cliff to your death, would ya do THAT too, Lucifer?! Huh?! … Ya know what? Knowin’s him, he probably would.”  
“They are totally fucking right? And if you feel that strongly about it its for a reason… Not that its any of my business.” I said.   
Mammon gave me a confused expression, then a creeped out one and then one of annoyance, “Anyway, ever since you got here, human, it’s been nothin’ but one bad thing after another for me. So, let’s get somethiin’ straight. I didn’t make this pact ‘cause I wanted to, and I ain’t happy about it! Everything I did, I did for my credit card-for my baby Goldie! If you end up gettin’ yourself eaten by some demon here at RAD, don’t bale me, ‘cause I don’t give a damn. You got that?! Don’t go thinkin’ you’re all great and stuff just ‘cause you managed to make some stupid pact, human!”  
I sighed, “I don’t think I am so great. I never did, I wanted some fucking respect. Because you are all assholes and I am just learning what kind of assholes you are. So, for starters, call me by my name! I am seriously developing issues with the word ‘human’”   
“Shut your mouth! I’ll call you what I damn well please. You don’t deserve to have me call you vy your real name, human! You’re nothin’ but a lowly human. Don’t think you can go givin’ orders to ME! ‘Cause I’ll eat ya, I swear! Startin’ from the head and workin’ my way down! Is that what ya want?!”  
I smiled mischievously, “Kinky~! But we are not there yet. Call me by my name, Mammon.”  
He looked grossed out for a moment, score for me, “You expect ME to call you by your name? You, a lowly human? Ha! Come back and ask me in another million years and maybe I’ll consider it!”  
“Why is it, that you have to fight EVERYTHING?!” I snapped and I glared at him with determination.   
“Eh? What’s wrong? Am I that intimidating? Do I frighten you?” He shrugged and started to walk away “The listen… If you stop talkin’ back and just do what I tell ya, then things won’t be so bad for-“  
“Stay!” I snapped cutting him off.   
He stopped.  
“Use MY name!” I demanded, the way I kept telling him to say my name made me think of that really good song from Descendants 2.  
Mammon was confused “Wh..wh-what’s goin; on? I-I can’t move…! Wh-what’d you do to me?! IS this some kind of magic? Listen up, h….hu..huma… Valentina”  
I smiled in triumph.   
He glared at me, “What the…. Dammit! Don’t tell me this is all ‘cause of the pact?! Now you listen to me! You may control my body, but not my mind! I’m my own boss, and I always will be! Don’t you ever forget that!” So, I just had to force my will over his? That’s how the pact worked then? He can’t refuse me… I smiled, “Huma…. Valentina… Valentina..., my boss! No, Your Majesty Valentina…!”  
Okay, I might have gone too far with that one. “Alright, Mammon, let’s go to class. And I promise you, I don’t want to be a pain in your ass. But you treat me with respect, and I will reciprocate. As in, I won’t annoy you with the pact too much if you are nice to me and I will be nice to you. So, stop fighting me and lets try to get along and be friend. A year is a long time for humans and I don’t want to spend it arguing with you.”  
Mammon grunted began to complain again.   
“Shut up! If you are going to be a prick, I will treat you like one. So, you better wise up” I said making my think of Rocky Horror.

**Author's Note:**

> I will finish uploading the main story chapters and then I will upload the smuts. The fan fic is already mostly written out, I just need to upload. So, I will be doing so in the upcoming days if the event doesn't distract me.  
> I wanted to establish my MC as a character before getting to my porn with plot.  
> I will be using the same MC for everything.  
> I'm too lazy to make another MC and I like this one. 
> 
> I take suggestion for which smut to post first once I finish uploading.


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